Parentune.com - Being a mother - My aspirations

I have learnt that being a mother is the best experience that a woman has in her lifetime. Giving birth to a child, starting a family and raising a human being is a wholesome learning and satisfying experience for the mother as well. After 9 months of sweet anticipation, when I saw my baby for the first time, it gave me an incredible feeling of empowerment.

I cherish every moment of motherhood. It does have it's ups and downs but there is no better feeling than the unconditional love between a mother and her child. No better feeling than watching my baby sleep peacefully on my chest while I wonder what he is dreaming about.

There is no stronger love in this world than the love a mother feels for her children. She cries for them, she worries about them, and would even give her life for them. I believe a mother is one who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take. I celebrate every moment with my son and try to make it memorable. The first time he crawled, his first step, the first birthday, when he learnt to cycle..every moment is precious.

I love it when we watch silly cartoons and laugh together, when we dance and play. We apologize to each other when we do something wrong. I also play with his friends so that they feel welcome at home. It is a whole lot of fun, being a mother. I really love to be with my child. I love to answer his questions and sit with him through his studies.

For me, the best part of raising a child is the little endearing moments during the day. I remember when I saw my son perform on the stage for the very first time, tears of happiness rolled down my eyes.

Being a mother is learning about the strengths you did not know you had, and dealing with fears and emotions you did not know existed. It is like discovering an all new side to yourself. Being a mother means being an anchor for your child, someone he knows he can reach out to without hesitation, someone who will always be there when he has a problem, someone he knows will always be understanding and compassionate and above all will always love him.

Motherhood is a 24 x 7 job and for me the compensation is the emotional fulfillment and the unconditional love I receive from my child.

As a mother my aspiration is to raise a good human being and instill values in him that will be his strength in his adult life. I want him to value people, relationships, emotions and to be kind to the needy. As parents, we try to set an example for him by doing the things we want him to learn, as that is the best way to teach a child.

Lastly, the best part of being a mother has definitely been the never ending hugs, kisses, and "I love you, Mamma". I am glad that God chose me to be his Mum !!!

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Let the Child Decide

 
Becoming a parent early in life and raising a single child can make one obsessive, sometimes. Thinking back, I recall myself fussing over every little detail, every action and reaction of my son, Arjun, particularly in his initial years. Though gradually one does learn to let go, I began to take it a little easy only once my son entered the double-digit years. Now that he is about to become a teen, I get frequent feelers that I need to back off and just let him be.

When a child is younger, everything they do or say is adorable, or cute as we call it. However, by the age of seven or eight, one perhaps begins expecting the child to behave sensibly and become independent in thought and in action. It did happen with me.

As a stay-at-home mother in the first few years, I took pride in the special and unique bond I had formed with my child. As the years passed and I started working, I had less time and little energy to tend to every little detail of his day. His frequent ‘approval seeking behavior’ or ‘awaiting my assistance in doing things’ began to bother me, and sometimes even left me irritated. Interestingly, these were the very things that would make me feel important and needed earlier.

Soon, I began to notice his lack of decision-making or the habit (not the need) to seek my help for the smallest of tasks. Of course, he was only doing what he had been conditioned to do, but I could not help but complain about why he could not decide what to wear or which book to read.

Thanks to his father’s intervention, better sense prevailed and soon I realized that it was time for me to do some introspection. I had to confess to myself that it was me who had set the tone for such behavior—from picking out his clothes every day, to guiding him on trivial matters—I had become in charge of his life, telling him what to do and even how to do it.

As they say, children are like clay and hence, can be molded in any which way. In my experience, remodeling is tough, both for the parent as well as the child. But it is not impossible. It needs time and patience but it works.

Thus, I began to incorporate subtle changes in our day-to-day life, to help my child become decisive, and more importantly, to make him feel that he could take good decisions.

Sharing some things that worked for me:

1. Giving him control: “Decide what you want to do with your time. Chalk out a schedule, and do what you think is best.” Letting go of control was hard, but I realized it was time that I came around to doing it, if I wanted my child to thrive as an independent individual.

2. Seeking his opinion: Arjun is now almost 13 and is gradually developing opinions of his own. We actively seek him out on family decisions. This way, we get to have a new perspective on things and he feels included and important. It’s a win-win.

3. Let him decide, good or bad: Sometimes children learn only by consequences. As long as it is not a matter of safety, I let my child take a decision and learn through the consequences, which may or may not be always be in his favor. This helps me in getting a pertinent point across without much ado – that whatever choices we make, we must be ready to accept the outcome and learn from it.

4. Getting back to doing things I love: For me, this has been one of the easiest ways of giving my child his space. When I divert my attention to activities that give me joy, I have less time to fuss over him, and that in turn, gives him opportunities to make little choices that strengthen his decision-making ability.

Gradually, I have also learnt not to be too harsh on myself thinking of the things I could have done better as a parent. Being a young first-time mother, what I did was perhaps naturally instinctive, or perhaps my way of protecting and guiding my child. At that time, I didn’t know any better, and at this point, l am trying to understand how to raise a teen. Just figuring out, like you are, one day at a time!

I am sure, that as a parent, you too have some insights and realizations to share. Do share your learning being a parent in the comment section below.

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Being a mother : Is priceless

Parenting A Child - I have been blessed with two beautiful children - Fatima and Ibrahim. From the very first moment when I learnt that I am carrying my love in my womb, my heart filled with immense joy. My love for my unborn children grew with each flutter and kick. As they were born and I held them in my arms and would rock them to sleep while singing whatever sweet tune filled my heart.

I try to show them with every breath how much they mean to me. I try to give them affection and attention every day of my life. Fatima is now in class 3 and Ibrahim is in LKG. Every single day, I look forward to hearing them share their learning and experiences with me so that I can get a glimpse of their moments away from me and also help and guide them.

I love to sit with them through their homework. I go through their text books when they are not around so I can figure out every little detail and be a part of their learning process. I just pray that wherever they go in life when they grow up, they must remember that their mom loves them. I would lay down my life just to make my little ones smile. They are the reason I wake up every morning, looking forward to a day full of beautiful moments. They are the reason why I can face life's hardships easily.

Without my children, I would have no one to love. My children are like sponges. They absorb everything from me but with one squeezing hug I get it all back . Isn't that PRICELESS ? !!

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