Parentune.com : How to say 'no' effectively to children

 
Saying 'no' and getting a child to obey is perhaps one of the trickiest part of parenting. It can lead to tantrums, tears, angry fits and embarrassing situations. In her blog, a blogger parent shares with us effective ways to say 'no' to a child when to give in and importantly how to manage an outburst when in a public place.

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Parentune.com : Parenting A Teenager

What is the toughest job? You should ask this to a parent of a teenager, it is easier to rule a country than to raise a teenager. The travails of Sarah Palin on the campaign trail were probably nothing compared to her travails at home as the mother of a teenager!

From experience as a has-been teenager, and now a mother of one, I can certify that this is the most difficult part of growing up, both for the child as well as for the parent. There is a new challenge each day! Every gesture or word of the parent is taken in the literal sense but if anything is said by the parent, then they have to hear that they did not understand the purport of the words expressed by the child.

There are moments when you, the parent, would think you are caged in the vicious circle of arguments and you just don’t know the way to get out of it. Every point has to be noted and clarified and if you are unwilling to clarify it then you are not co operating. ‘Why’ and ‘how’ are the two questions that will be haunting you from time to time but you are supposed to act as the one who can never have any question and if by mistake you ask one then you will be told that they have the discretion of not answering them and you have to accept that.

For the child, this is the period in which they come to love, respect and acknowledge their sex, and they are caught in a vortex of emotions where they want to prove to the world that they are unique in their own way. Physical changes, both among boys and girls, could make them feel depressed at one point, and sometimes give rise to feelings of inadequacy, which the parent needs to appreciate and counter with careful support.

Every issue is sensitive! Be it studies, friends, love life, school anything and everything under the sky comes under the scanner. The parent needs to deal with every issue with a certain point of sensitivity and compassion.

As a parent we have to understand and analyse the crux of the matter and deal with it compassionately. We are not allowed to be rude or illogical at any given point. Teens face a massive change emotionally as well as physically and the only way to deal with the change is to be understanding.

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Celebrity Parent on Parentune.com -Tara Sharma

A celebrity actor, producer of TV shows, and a mother to two young boys, Tara Sharma is as zesty as it gets. She is known for her enthusiasm, her never-say-die attitude towards life, and to say the least her pristine skin. But we at parentune love her for something else...her role as a mother. “Parenting is the most incredible journey of life and the hardest too. You want to do your best in it because of the people involved—your own children,” says this celeb-mom. When it comes to her children, Zen (4 1/2) and Kai (2 1/2) Tara has no airs and neither does she want her children to develop any. Parentune catches up with her. Here are some excerpts.

Q Between your professional assignments, other responsibilities, and taking care of your children, how do you manage to strike a balance?

A For me, it is important to be near my children. I am a hands-on mom and if possible, like to have them around me so that I can check on them or reach them if they need me. Fortunately I am in that space. When not shooting, I work from home and even on shoots, when their schedules allow it, I often take them along. They enjoy being on the sets and watching all the activity happening around them. And thanks to technology, I can manage work without having to seclude myself in an office. I can take calls from the play ground, send emails without having to block my children out totally. But nonetheless it is tough. At times, I have to close doors and I sometimes feel guilty about doing that.

Q Your show, The Tara Sharma Show, which has had a very successful run for 4 years and 2 seasons with Season 3 starting soon, is also about parenting. Where did you get the inspiration from for a parenting show?
A When my son Zen was around 9 months, I was at home taking care of him. I love being a hands-on mum whether it is about feeding or narrating bedtime tales, with help when needed and if possible, of course!. But I also slowly wanted to get back to work. It was then that I thought of combining somethings that I love— performing, business and parenting, and something which I could involve my children in too, without it being intrusive in any way.

I have seen so many shows—travel, carpentry, cooking, crafts—but nothing about parenting that is light-hearted, fun, and shows the life of a normal mother. I co-produce the show with The 120 Media Collective and we have enjoyed 2 successful seasons with the 3rd coming up.

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Q But do you think your celebrity status affects your parenting style and the show?
A At a parenting level, no. At home, I am a normal mother and have a normal life. My children go to school, to the park to play, and I take them out for dinner etc—things that most mothers do for their children. Also I am no major big star. In fact through the show I find people seem to relate to me as a pretty regular mum.

On the show also, I am very clear that I am not an expert on being a parent. My show portrays that—the life of a regular mom and her dealings with her children. The show started out as a blog where I was just expressing myself as a parent. The blog was doing well, when I figured that I should do a show on the same--something that all parents can relate to. www.tarasharmashow.com
For me, the show is the start of a second career and a fulfilling one at that. It gives me the chance to do something I love and am passionate about but along with my children.

Q And how do your children react to the fact that their mom is such a well-known face?
A I am no big star as I always say and even if a little known, to be honest, I have never hidden this fact from them nor have kept them hidden away. Each to their own is my parenting motto, you have to do what works for you. Some celebs are ok showing their kids like me, within our comfort level of course, and some are not. In our case they have a normal life, going to parks to play, hanging around with friends etc. I am protective definitely but they know what I do and in fact love it. They have travelled all over the world with me for the show and when we are not doing shoots, Zen will ask me “Why aren’t we shooting? Where are we going next?” So for me it’s been a great way to be with both of them and my husband (his company co-produces the show, and work!)

Q But what about difficult moments when they get into fights or sibling rivalry surfaces?
A They are both very close in age and therefore I think the rivalry doesn’t really exist between them. Yes, there are fist fights, squabbles, etc. but nothing very serious. It is like any other children. They fight but they love each other too. When not near, they will miss each other. On shoots too, they keep company and take care of each other. On my part, I do not take sides, when they get into a tussle. I try to sort the issue but be impartial.

Q Any beautiful moment, in your life as a parent, that you want to share with us?
A Each moment as a parent is unique and beautiful. For me it is the most important aspect of life. From their little smiles to tears, everything is special for me. I believe that when you have children, you not only become a parent, but you grow as a human being too. You become more compassionate and sensitive.

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Q Anything in your own parenting that you think you could have done better?
A Every day, I feel, I could be a better parent. It is a continous learning process. I experience a range of emotions around my sons---from being happy, satisfied, to feeling guilty. On some days, my sons will say something which gets me thinking “What have I done wrong? What should I avoid doing the next time around?” and then there are moments when they make you feel great. But every day, I am thankful to have my children and my family around me.

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