Things To Do With Your Child Before They Grow Up

A child changes your life forever. We grew up in a community or in joint families where we were taken care of by aunts and grandparents as much as our own parents. Our parents were busy working and taking care of the family and we hardly had more than a few precious days in the year when we would be taken out for our yearly holiday or the book fair. However the world has changed today and the buzzword today is “quality time”.

So how do you spend quality time with your children, which will help you make the best of their childhood and also leave them with memories for their lifetime?

Here are some ideas:

Volunteer together for an NGO:

One of the most important lessons we can give our children is to be helpful those who are less privileged than us. How better to go about it than short list a few NGO-s and then volunteer to help out for a day. It might be a good idea to even to do this on the child’s birthday. Your child would feel extremely good having helped others and s/he will carry these memories and make a better citizen later on in life.

Visit an animal shelter:

You could also visit an animal shelter and volunteer there for a weekend. This will invoke in your child the values of kindness and empathy towards animals.

Clean up your street or neighborhood park:

This may be a good bonding Activity. Children are very good at understanding and learning from our actions not only will your child remember this as something that you did together but also be proud of your initiative to drive a movement for the betterment of the community.

Encourage them to write and read it:

This may sound simple but it is not. When I wrote my first poem and took it to my grandfather at the age of 7, he laughed at it. Sadly this put me out of writing for years afterwards. If your child writes an essay, story or poem you may want to encourage the child with praise. Even if your child just wrote- “Love you Mumma”, give her a big hug and kiss and put it up somewhere to be seen. Taking this route for appreciation may inspire your child to write more. And yes, they will remember your hugs and kisses for a long time to come.

Read together:

The joys and benefits of reading together cannot be stressed enough. We have had a lot of articles and blogs on parentune.com about this topic. I always believed that a family that reads together stays together. Not only is it quality time together, but also, it is an excellent way to bond with your child while, at the same time, teaching them the values of reading.

Learn a musical instrument together:

Have you always wanted to play the piano but never got around to do it? This is the time. Bringing up children is in many ways reliving ones childhood. So fulfill your dream while having your child learn at the same time. Then have impromptu concerts at home and either drive your neighbors wild together or get accolades as a team!

Learn a language:

A brain of a growing child can comprehend, understand and learn a new language much faster than an adult. Taking full advantage from this fact, you may want to learn a new language together. It will keep the grey cells working while doing something worthwhile together.

Discover science:

Childhood is truly the time of discovery.

• The best way to have them discover how a particular toy works is to take it apart. Don’t over react if they take a toy car apart to see “what’s inside”. It is very normal and healthy for a child to be curious about things. For older children it might be a great experience for them if you could give them a broken gadget or an appliance so they can take it apart (with supervision) and actually see the insides of the gadget for themselves.

• You could conduct you own science experiments with things from your kitchen like, Creating volcanoes out of soda and salt, make salt from salt water and many more
• You could teach your child about optics by playing with shadows. Next time you have a power cut, you could have a puppet show purely out of hand and finger shadows on the wall.
• My mum still has the pressed and dehydrated flower collection that I had made for her, a few years ago she had it framed to preserve it and to this date it is displayed in her bedroom. You could do the same with your child and then frame the creation and hang it somewhere, where it is visible for all to admire.
• Sleep on the terrace on a clear summer night and check out the constellations (but remember to put a great mosquito repellant ? )

Teach them a sport:

What is more wonderful on a spring or summer weekend than to splash about in the cool pool and have fun family time and see your child gain confidence and skill in the pool at the same time. Why not teach cycling to your little one, or throw a ball around. Teach them to play basketball or badminton, both of which are possible in any neighborhood park.

Play:

You could paint something together- a plate for your mantel, build a dollhouse with shoeboxes, make a model airplane. Have an indoor picnic. You could take your child to the beach or park and let go. Play in the mud… clothes can always be washed ( believe me you will only remember the fun you had with your child later on in life and not the dirty clothes that you had to wash ).

Discover nature:

You could go out really early one day and watch the sun rise or set. Go out to the park to hunt for bugs and ant hills. Find a pond and try to see what is in it. Turn over a rock and watch the amazing life which goes on underneath it. Try to catch a crab on the beach. Go for a nature walk in a nearby park at night. Visit your nearest botanical garden and sit in the shade of a banyan tree. Plant your own little garden, even if in a pair of bottles. Create your own bird house or bird feeder and wait for the birds. Camp on your backyard, or else on the terrace. Climb a tree, or roll down a hill, catch fish or just get drenched in the rain.

Cook together:

Try a simple recipe if you are a beginner, like chicken soup or pizza. Have your child assemble all ingredients. Have your child assemble the pizza before you put it in the oven to bake. If you are a good cook, bake lovely cakes and make good use of the extra arms to beat the mix!

Travel:

A well travelled child has a mind which absorbs more information and notices things more. Remember how train journeys were such great fun for us as children? Go boating with your children. Long distance driving with a child is a unique experience. Take lots of pictures which would enhance their memories.

Discover your city:

On a sunny winter’s day, you could make a date with your child and take a hop-on hop-off bus if your city has one. Or else, visit the museum, public library, the biggest temple or church, or market place- just to get a feel of the city.

Family:

We always went to the bakery Nahoums on Christmas Eve. It was a delectable experience which we sisters loved, the rich plum cakes and rum balls smelling mouth watering. Start your own family tradition. Grand parents balances discipline with pure love, studies with games. They are a treasure trove of stories too, and best thing is, they have time and the inclination to keep your children happy for hours, so your children could spend time with them.

Whether your child is a 4 year old toddler, or at the cusp of teenage, this is the time to try and build ever lasting memories which they will carry into their own parenthood. Not only will you create responsible creative adults, but you will create happy parents, who themselves will pass on this tradition to their own little ones when the time comes.

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How to handle Phobias in children

‘Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood’- Marie Curie

All of us have fears, anxieties and worries. Fear in a child, can take over his/her life. I have seen a little boy absolutely refuse to leave the house after being attacked by a dog; a 9 year old girl was not ready to go back to school after being laughed at by the entire class for her new haircut.
At the age of 5 or 6 years, I had a fear of elevators. I thought the doors would close on me. I always seemed to freeze while getting into one. For years I refused to get into an elevator and would prefer to climb numerous flights of stairs to avoid taking an elevator. This went on till I was in my 20s!
Fear could be triggered off by an incident and it could gradually disrupt a child’s normal life. Fear, at this stage, may become a Phobia. A Phobia is an extreme fear, which can last until adulthood. We may not give much importance to our children’s fears and may feel that they will ‘just grow out of it.’ This, unfortunately, could lead to the child growing up with phobias and other psychological issues. A timely intervention can help a child cope with his/her fears better at an early stage, helping them to deal with anxiety in a more positive way.
During the course of my research, I found the following to be the most common phobias among children:

1.Fear of Heights or Acrophobia: Acrophobia is mostly hereditary. Children inherit the fear from their parents or from a traumatic experience, such as falling from a tree or watching someone get hurt after falling from a height. Children suffering from acrophobia may also find it difficult to look down when standing on a chair as they are unsure of their balance.

Symptoms include dizziness, nausea, feeling faint and trembling.

2.Fear of Enclosed Spaces or Claustrophobia: Claustrophobia is a fear of being trapped in small areas, for example, a small room, an elevator or even crowded places such as movie theatres, with a fear of not being able to escape which could eventually lead to lack of oxygen. Children are easily influenced by the things they see around them. So, a child is likely to pick up on fear displayed by an adult in certain situations and in case the parenting workshops suffers from Claustrophobia, the child is very likely to be claustrophobic.

Symptoms include nausea, hot flushes, panic attacks, sweating, fainting to name a few.

3.Fear of Water or Aqua phobia: Aqua phobia too, like all the other fears, may result from a traumatic experience such as near drowning or any other frightening experience in water. The severity of this phobia may vary from child to child. Some children may be afraid of large water bodies such as the sea or the swimming pool, but some children may fear even sitting in a bath tub filled with water. If a parent’s displays fear of water when going for a swim, the child will pick up on the fear and model the parent’s behaviour.

Symptoms include shivering with anxiety, freeze in the place or trying to escape.

4.Fear of Blood or Homophobia: A child may develop an exaggerated fear of blood from the sight of their own blood, blood of another person or even images of blood on the television. A child with a fear of blood may also have fear of needles/ injections or Trypanophobia. The sight of blood may remind them of their own vulnerability and the pain.

Symptoms include dizziness, nausea, fainting, anxiety and drop in blood pressure.

5.Fear of Spiders or Arachnophobia: Most of us fear spiders. My daughter does not even look straight at the picture of the spider in her rhyme Little Miss Muffet. On occasions when she sees a real spider, she screams, runs to us, sometimes shivering. I believe that most children and adults alike have a negative reaction to spiders. This fear may not necessarily arise after a frightening experience with spiders, but the mere sight of spiders may make most children want to completely avoid any kind of contact with them.

Symptoms include excessive sweating, rapid breathing, breathlessness and a full anxiety attack.

6.Fear of being laughed at or Gelotophobia: Gelotophobia is fairly common among children. This fear can stem from being teased or laughed at by peers at school or in a play group. Children with this fear cannot distinguish the different types of laughter and may associate any form of laughter as ridicule to them.

Symptoms include social withdrawal, lack of humour, liveliness or joy and low self esteem.

Do all fears turn into phobias?
The answer to this is No. Fear is a normal part of growing up and it is considered a healthy part of one’s life. A child can be easily afraid of almost anything- from a negative experience or from watching someone’s reaction in a fearful situation. For instance, my daughter has picked up the fear of spiders, cockroaches and lizards just by watching me react to the sight of any of them. So, if your child is afraid of bugs or spiders, it does not signify that he/she has a phobia.
A Phobia is an extreme fear and can affect a child’s personal, social and academic life. An encounter with the object or an experience related to a phobia can make a child extremely anxious. This anxiety can cause distress to the child and other members in the family. Most children grow out of the fears with time and with reassurance and guide from the elders.

What to do if I suspect my child has a phobia?
We may not be certain that our children’s fears could have progressed into a phobia. However, extreme fear causing anxiety and distress for about over six months may need an action from the parent to help the child cope better with the fear and not let it turn into a phobia. For example, if a child is afraid of thunderstorm and refuses to step out even at the sight of dark clouds and making him/her extremely anxious could be a sign of a phobia. A child fearing thunderstorm will not think about it on a cloudy day. On the other hand, a child with a phobia may not be able to concentrate on his/her activities without worrying about the chances of thunder showers.

How can a parent help a child cope or overcome the phobias?
1.Talk openly to your child and reassure him/her that you understand the fears and that you are there to listen and help.

2.Making a list of fears from the least frightening to the worst is a good way to start.
3.Have a discussion with your child on how both of you as a team will try and tackle each fear one by one.

4.A light and a friendly approach will help your child begin this journey with ease leaving behind some anxiety.

5.You may take advantage of opportunities to help your child overcome his/her fears. For example, to help my child overcome her fear of spiders, one day on spotting a one, I took her near the spider (close enough to take a good look, but at a distance where she was comfortable) and pointed out its legs and its body. I then explained to her that they are creatures of God, like we are, and need to survive by eating. So spiders come into our homes in search of food and if threatened, some may bite. Then on, she does not seem as frightened as she used to.

6.You may also deliberately help your child face the fear by reassuring him/her that you are there and will not let your child get hurt. For example, one of the first steps to help your child cope with Aqua Phobia could be to take your child to a swimming pool and let him/her observe other people swimming. If he/she feels comfortable, the next step could be to sit close to the pool, then after a few days, he/she could try to dip their feet into the pool. This could also be done at home if there is a bath tub. Gradually helping them face the fears and helping them realize that there is nothing to be afraid from, will help boost your child’s confidence.

7.Role playing is also an effective way to help your child deal with the fear. For example, to help a child over come the fear of blood or needles, one could play doctor and practice the things a doctor would do in one of his/her routine check up. Taking them along for one of your blood test appointments may also help them overcome the fear ( I remember; the last time my daughter had to get a blood test done she was very anxious but I told the nurse to make the pin prick on my finger first. Once she saw me getting it done she was less anxious).

8.Positive reinforcements and encouragements are things which your child will always benefit from. So if your child seems overwhelmed in a fearful environment, repeating positive phrases such as ‘you can do it’ can reassure him/her and help to face the situation.

9.Parents suffering from phobias pass on the same to their children. To prevent your children from developing the same phobias, you may need to keep your phobic reaction under control. Repeatedly seeing the parent’s fearful reaction may trigger the same in a child. So, if we keep our fears under control, we are unlikely to pass them on to our children. This is how I dealt with my fear of spiders, to help alleviate the fear in my child. It was not easy for me, but I am glad I did as I do not see the same level of fear in her now.

10.If your child’s fear does not seem to be going away, or you see him/her in too much distress in spite of your efforts, you may seek the advice of a counsellor. A counsellor may be able to provide some professional help and advice in helping your child cope better.

11.Reading books or telling stories about an issue at hand has always helped my child understand and cope better with the circumstance in hand. Reading books to your child about someone else’s feelings and fears will help your child understand better and may also help him/her overcome those fears.

Here are a few recommendations for books to read to your child:
•The Worry Warts by Pamela Duncan.
•The Very Noisy Night by Diana Hendry.
•No Matter What by Debi Gliori.
•I’m Worried by Jen Green.
•All Kind of Fears by Emma Brownjohn.
•I’ll Always Love You by Paeony Lewis.
•An Anxious Mind: A Teen’s Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic.

The books mentioned above could be found in any Crossword book store and online. Older children may select books of their choice from a library or a book store and read on how to deal with their fears and anxieties.
Reassurance, encouragement and support from us are the first things our children need to start the battle with their fears.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear

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Dental Health During Holidays

You live in a world full of temptations of all kinds. And the poor teeth bear the brunt of
eating all those goodies that you consume.

We parents often give in to our children’s eating demands. We buy them chips, candies of
all kinds and even biscuits with creams, syrups and so on. And how many of us set the best
example by diligently brushing our teeth twice a day? Under these circumstances, I am sure
most of you parents would agree when I say, that we would be glad if our children would
land up brushing even once but effectively.

Good oral hygiene habits start from us the parents , if we brush our teeth and floss at night
before going to bed , so will our children, Trust me on that! So do it for the little one if not for
yourself and start today!

The first advice I give to all parents is that, they should emphasise on night brushing. I often
explain to my patients that we brush in the morning primarily to get rid of bad odour from
the mouth and feel fresh. At night we need to clean the teeth well as we need to keep the
teeth surface free of any food as otherwise, the friendly bacteria in our mouth get a chance to
become un-friendly and start causing erosion of enamel leading to dental caries.

A few important points to keep in mind considering the next couple of months will see the
summer holidays:

1. Insist on brushing twice a day and no compromises on that!! Do it yourself too!
2. Ask your child to have one healthy food if he wants to have a junk food. One for
one, which means in a day,, if he insists on 2 items of junk, he is also forced to eat 2
healthy things! That is what I do with my son as a result when he has had the healthy
food, he is left with little space in his stomach to have the junk food. so its a win-win
situation for me as a parent. I am giving him the satisfaction of having his favourite
food and am also taking care of his dental and general health.
3. If your child is eating something sticky, eg jelly biscuits ,chips ,namkeen, sweets or
candies, tell him that he needs to brush his teeth immediately , if not at least make
rinsing a habit. If he is in a particularly un-compromising mood and doesn not want to
do either, give him a fibrous fruit to eat like an orange , apple etc.
4. Its a good idea to complete dental treatments during the holidays ,one can start with
dental check ups. I also suggest that any orthodontic work also should be started in the
holidays as there can be some discomfort at the initial stage of the treatment. This will
gives our precious ones sometime to get adjusted to the braces or any appliance that
has been fixed in the mouth.
5. Children with tendency of dental caries should be given fluoride treatments and pit
and fissure sealants wherever necessary. Sealants are a very good preventative and
non invasive way of protecting molars and premolars form caries.
6. Citrus fruits like oranges ,apples ,kiwi are a good source of vitamin C and are very
good for dental health as mentioned earlier. But prolonged lemon sucking or orange
sucking can exposure teeth to harm. Cheese is also a great source of calcium and
phosphorous which is very beneficial. Similarly sweet potato and broccoli too. Onions
have a great bacteria killing effect in the mouth. They are most useful when eaten

raw.
7. No harm chewing some gum sometimes for older kids as chewing generates saliva
which washes off bacteria and acid which protects teeth from decay. Although please
note that it is not a substitute for brushing or flossing.
8. Young mothers please avoid filling bottles with milk, juices ,sweetened drinks etc at
night. Infants sleeping with bottles at night have a high chance rampant caries.

So keep some of these guidelines in mind and lets make the holiday’s a happy season for our teeth as well !

So Parents have a great time these vacations ,spend lots of quality time with your kids and
give them lots and lots of love.

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Top 8 reasons why alone time is crucial for a child’s growth and development.

For children alone time would refer to the time the child gets to his disposal to use how he pleases. During alone time, the child seeks at spending time on his own without the aid of his parents, peers or friends. It is not the same as being lonely; rather, it is an opportunity to be with oneself. Studies indicate that children that know how to fill their alone time learn to engage themselves and rarely feel isolated and lonely.

What are some of the important skills children learn from being alone ?

1.Creativity is enhanced- Being on their own leads to enhance the imagination of a child.

2.Children learn not to complain of boredom- Since we live in a world of instant gratification and low attention span, children complain of boredom often. As they learn to spend more and more time on their own, they will put an effort to find out what they can do with their extra time. As they learn to fill their time with more interesting activities, acting out their imaginations, learn something new or explore their surroundings, the child learns never to feel lonely. As a result the child learns healthy independence.  This teaches them to have fun independently

3.Quiet down time – “Time out”, is a non- violent punishment strategy used by many parents to discipline their children. The child is forced to stay in a room alone for 10 minutes, without any distractors, as a punishment forWhile in the room, the child gets enough time to evaluate and think what caused this consequence. The likelihood of misbehaviour is therefore reduced due to the negative consequence of staying alone.

4.Emotional stability- Spending time alone encourages calmness in the child. The child learns to soothe herself. As a result, the child may not seek continual emotional and peer support.

5.Value of companionship- Alone time satisfies a child’s need to sometimes be alone. Once they have spent enough time on their own, they will now seek out to play in groups comprising of peers or others. It helps them develop their social independence.

6.Decision making and responsibility- Spending time on his/her own would further make a child more aware of the actions and consequences. The child may understand better about how responsible actions lead to a positive consequences.

7.Problem solving and self- discovery- When a parent is not constantly coming to the rescue of the child on every front the child is then forced to address the problem at hand and discover ways to approach and resolve it. This helps in the mental dvelopment of the child to a large extent.

8.Prepares them for school- Studies show that children who were comfortable spending alone time at home, had fewer adjustment problems when starting school, going to school refusal or separation anxieties. They were found to be less insecure in new environments and showed curiosity in exploring new places and activities.

Most Important: This allows the parent to have some down time too.

What are some of the steps to independent play?

Parents should ensure that their home is child proof.  Ensure your home is organized. Everything has a place and everything in its place. Ideally the quiet time could happen in the child’s room that has been child proofed already and contains all the necessary opportunity as well as material for a child to spend quality time by themselves. Yet there are a couple of measures that you may want to take care of before you encourage the alone time, these are as follows:

1.Provide a safe place- Making sure that the area where the child is going to spend the alone time is safe and devoid of any unsafe things of toys may be a great start.

2.Drowning- Make sure that bathrooms are locked and tubs are empty. Placing covers over tanks and other large containers that hold water may ensure the childs safety.

3. Strangulation / Fire & Electrical accidents- Making sure that any kind of wires , pipes or ropes are not lying around to entice a child resulting in damaging circumstances is the right way to go.

4.Safe and secure furniture- The parents could make sure that the furniture in the room is secure and not loose and ill fitted to avoid any harm coming to the child due to the same.

5.Chemicals/ Medication& Plastic bags- The child could be made aware of the harmful effects of playing with a plastic bag or the cleaning supplies that may be stored in the Bathroom; this would make the less anxious about leaving the child to play on his/her own.

 What are some common tools to encourage Independent Play?

 Providing a safe environment is a crucial necessity for of a child’s alone time but making sure the child also has enough stimulation and tools to have an effective and productive alone time is also important. The key steps that a parent may take in order to achieve the maximum results are as follows:

1. Provide fascinating materials: Creative outlet is very important and for that a parent may ensure that art supplies like colored paper, glue , paints are all provided for the child. Even puzzles and story books can be provided so a child could engage his/her own self.

2. Provide ample opportunities and encourage your child to play alone: Appreciating the end result of each time that the child spends on his/her own may be a great way to build a pattern with the child where the child is not forced to spend time on his own but to spend on his own.

3. Respect the child’s time: A parent neeeds to respect the value of the alone time,  interrupting the child when he is engaged in independent play may defeat the purpose of the act.

4. Making yourself less available: This just might be the key to having a succesful alone time of the child. Making the child aware that though the parent may be around yet , the child needs to manage and make the most out of his alone time is very important.

5. Follow a schedule: It is important that a schedule is made in advance on the timing of the alone time and followed to the hilt. It makes a child aware of the importance of designated time and also instills a sense of discipline in the child.

Age of the child is not the defining factor when a parent should start alone time for a child yet I would encourage parents to start alone time for their children as early as possible to instill fine qualities like self confidence, healthy independence and emotional stability. This are the qualities that go a long way in raising a Happy Child.

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Reflections of an Urban Mum

Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant, who is terrible at Math- Unknown

The day I realized I was pregnant, I was walking on cloud nine. When my doctor cautioned me to sleep as much as possible since as per her wisdom, once the baby was delivered, I would surely be sleep- deprived, I totally ignored her worldly wise words (to regret later) thinking how hard could it be to make a child sleep.

Ask me the above question now (after 1.5 years) and my answer would be – the baby’s growth is directly proportionate to the number of reasons for NOT sleeping.

It has been a year and a half and I still have sleepless nights though now the earlier simple issues of hunger and diaper change have been replaced by colic, bad dreams, “just want to play” time (the last being invariably at 4am).
This begs me to wish; whoever coined the term “sleeps like a baby” should be made to take care of one, especially in the night!!!!

There are days when I get a moment to myself I wonder about how dramatically my life has changes since my son,”Vivaan” came into our lives and that is what prompted me to write this article. Prior to Vivaan’s birth, I was the sort who loved to sleep and eat on time, and when deprived of either, I used to become like the “Dementors of Harry Potter” fame sucking the happiness out of everyone around. However, now after his birth Vivaan’s smile is enough to take me out of the cranky mood.

Through this article I realized the tremendous growth curve that I have gone through (and I am sure many of you out there will agree with me) and funnily some of them are just unbelievable ( yes, even to me).

• My fears: Before vivaan was born Cockroaches, lizards and moths would make me shriek and scream so loud that the entire colony would wonder who got hurt!! But now I am a superwoman in my son's eyes for bravely shooing away the nasty insects and reptiles of the world.

• My fears now: My fears are now more on the grounds of self doubt - Will I be able to keep Vivaan from hurting? What if I end up being a bad mother? How do I teach him the good from the bad, how do I save him from various monsters and bogeymen?

To that my wise hubby answers - No mother can be a bad mother and if you think good, good things will happen, if you think bad, bad things will happen so be positive (even if that is not your blood group- oh yes! my husband has a sense of humor)

• Me/ Us time: Before vivaan was born, I would sit comfortably on our couch with coffee at hand distance and Read, Read and Read as much as possible as many fictions as possible. Every weekend watch a movie in the theatre with hubby dearest no matter how pathetic they might be. Catch up with school friends, college friends, family, distant cousins on phone (monthly bill was never less than Rs5000, and I did not apologise for it) and last but not the least all the saas-bahu serials found an ardent follower in me.

• Me / Us time now: Reading time (when I do manage to squeeze in) involves books on good parenting, blogs on various parenting methods, Baby related sites to see if the milestone of my son is proper ( I really believe, with the kind of research I have done I would surely acquire a PhD in parenting methodology). Now we manage to see one full movie in an installment of 6-7 sittings that too only if its DVD is released. I barely have time to catch with the world on phone as a result the Phone Monthly bill is hardly more than Rs1000 (now that is good saving)

• Shopping and going out accessories: Before vivaan came in to our lives my Handbag ‘must-haves’ included house keys, wallet, tissues, lipstick, and comb. Shopping was done at leisure and that included window-shopping and trying out various garments before actually choosing one.

• Shopping and going out accessories now: Handbag 'must haves' include house keys, wallet, 4-5 diapers, wipes, milk bottles, snacks for Vivaan, extra dress for Vivaan, Small towel for vivaan, hand sanitizer and basically any other thing that I think vivaan may need. Shopping trips Going to malls and shops happens only if required and that too with a list. Rest of the shopping is done online and home delivery (the shops that do not home deliver are struck off the list). While one of us shops the other is constantly ensuring that Vivaan does not cause catastrophe in the shop!!

• Travelling out of town: When we travelled without vivaan earlier, we would reach airport with one hour to spare, check in all the baggage and have one handbag comprising of the must haves. I would enjoy listening to music while we waited to board the flight or be happy just window-shopping. I would generously give my seat in the bus to mothers with kids and senior citizens. There was one time, my seat was continuously kicked by a joyful 18 months old, i scowled at the obvious apologetic parents( I am not so proud of that; now).

• Travelling out of town now: It is almost funny now, we reach airport with more time to spare (though I always end up feeling hurried), running behind Vivaan takes most of the time and keep an eye on him (what if he gets kidnapped or lost or hurts himself bad by falling down the escalator -I am paranoid like that, can you blame me, I am a mum) The slight upside however is that I end up getting seat to sit but now I am the proud recipient of scowls from ladies because of my vociferous child is joyfully kicking-the-seat. I apologies meekly and whisper into Vivaan's ears "I love you sonny boy -keep shouting and kicking hard as much as you want for once you grow up you just wont get to do so ;-)

So yes if one asks me; would I do that all over again? - 8 hrs of labor, sleepless nights, packing suitcases just for a trip to the mall, the paranoia ... then my answer would always be Yes, yes and yes because at the end of the day, after all the mess, histrionics, screaming and tantrums I also get tight hugs, laughter and a house which is now a home:-)

Finally I would like to share something that I read and it has reassured me on more than one Occasion-

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ? Benjamin Spock

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Top I-Pad Apps for children

A couple of days ago, we were invited for dinner to a friend’s place and when my 7 year old got bored they handed her their I pad. Usually, I am very careful about the content that my daughter is exposed to on the computer, TV or the I pad but here it took me a minute or two to realize that she was playing a game that was way too violent for her age. Instantly, I asked her to get off the I pad and gave her paper and pencil to entertain herself (that is another issue that she loves to draw and instantly made it onto a game by drawing a caricature of everyone around) but it got me thinking. Though the I-pad belonged to a couple with no children yet, I could not find any games on it that could engage my child in a meaningful fashion

The last blog that I wrote around the gadgets was on, “How to introduce a new gadget to a child” but this blog is all about the interesting games that are available, those not only engage a child but also foster development. These games are brain stimulating and do not have a violent undertone hence may be appropriate for children across age groups. There are many versions of each of these games available on the Internet and most of these can be downloaded for free.

So here goes the list of interesting I-pad apps that I found during my search for non-violent games for my daughter.

1. Language:

a) Scrabble:

This is a timeless classic, I remember playing it together with my parents as a board game and having endless fun, sometimes it went on for hours because we’d have vowed that we would use all the tiles in the box. (It was an exhausting fun day)

b) Hangman:

I love this game and so does my 7 year old, we have been playing this since the past two years and since the game has an option of either playing against the computer or playing against another player she can play this on her own. One can choose the category and the level of the difficulty of the words and this is the reason the age spectrum of this game is a wide one.

c) Word search:

Another word game with endless versions available on the Internet. It perhaps is an app, which may be beneficial in developing spelling abilities of a child. Again it can be played by the child alone or with an adult.

2. Fun and Entertainment:

a) Tomato pop:

As the name suggests, this is an app where one needs to pop a ripe tomato and it has to be calculated since each exploding tomato may or may not pop another one next to it. Since the numbers of moves are predefined one cannot be randomly be pressing any tomato. There are hints available when one gets stuck on a level. It is fun and may help in developing the interpretation and reasoning of a child.

b) Balloon Rock:

This game also is one for the younger children. All you have to do is pop the balloon; the only catch to it is that one needs to be super quick while popping. This game may help in fostering fine motor skills and agility of a child.

c) F18 /lite:

This is my Achilles heel, as hard as I try to land the fighter jet on to a huge ship (a carrier) I usually crash. As many have explained to me, I need to work on my landing, my approach and what not. I just really have fun flying an F18 Jet. This game really needs concentration and control, I am still working on mine ha, ha. It is a game for slightly older children of age 6 and above.

3. General knowledge

a) Movie quiz:

This is a general knowledge based game where one has to guess the movie based on four picture clues. Many versions of the same are available on the Internet where one could download the game according the age group that one wants. Ideally, these quizzes may be more fun for children aged 10 and over.

b) Logo quiz:

This is a popular one and is available in numerous download options on the Internet. My daughter started watching the billboards on the road with such intent whenever we were in the car since she wanted to locate all the logos that she had guessed and looks at all the logos that may come up in the game.

c) City quiz:

This game is for the well travelled or looking to travel, children and adults. The clues are picture based and one really needs to brush up on their geography while playing this game. Ideally these quizzes may be more fun for children aged 8 and over.

d) Pics quiz:

This is a game where one needs to find a common word that may relate to all the four picture cues given in each level. A fun brainteaser, it is a favorite with my daughter. Sometimes, I have to help her with the word and on other times, her simple thinking helps me get the right word.

4. Brain Teasers

a) Tic tac toe:

We have all played this game while growing up and it makes the child think and plan his/her next move. I used to let my daughter win sometimes just to keep her interest going but over the last couple of years, she makes me think my moves. This game is good for children over 4 years of age.

b) Four sight:

Now here is a game that is a natural progression to Tic Tac Toe. This game is slightly more complex and one has to think about not just how to align your own chips in a row but also how one could make sure that the opponent is not in a position to make a row of their chips. Made me think on my feet and after a few rounds, my daughter was able to anticipate my moves. It may be appropriate for children of 7years and above.

5. Concentration and melody:

a) Piano:

Even before I got my daughter to take piano lessons I downloaded this app for her. This perhaps was the stepping-stone in her journey to be inspired to learn how to play the piano. She now takes actual piano lessons and played the “happy Birthday” song on the I-pad when it was her father’s birthday (we were travelling and so she did not have her synthesizer to play it on) and it ended up being a very touching moment for all of us as a family. Appropriate for a child over 5 years of age.

b) Guitar:

Same goes for the guitar app. My daughter chose to stick to the piano for her formal training, though, that definitely does not stop her from trying her hand with the guitar app.

c) Baby Piano:

The baby piano app, is specially designed for younger children to play on an iPad, for early music learning and exploration. Colorful interface and cute animal icons are eye-catching to children and stimulate their interest in music. It also has a 2-player mode, which allows the parent to play music together with the child, side by side on the I-Pad screen. Any notes that a parent plays will be highlighted on the opposite side of the I-Pad screen so your child may follow and learn to play songs from/with you.

6. Art:

a) Layers:

This app packs in everything one needs to be creative on the go. It features lots of tools to help a child create a masterpiece.
As the name suggests, layers comes, as standard, with the option to add up to five layers to a drawing. In addition to a paintbrush and eraser, Layers also includes a smudge tool with adjustable texture, size, and pressure. The standard version completes with 5 brush options, with an upgrade to the pro version offering 15 brush varieties. The app also incorporates an easy-to use color picker and eyedropper, giving the user access to a full range of colors. It is appropriate for children above 10 years of age.

b) Doodle Pro:

Here is an app for children of 3 years and above, a child is able to finger paint with their favorite color and drop in playful stamps at the same time. Funny sounds paired with the stamps are a blast and keeps the child engaged.

c) Sketch up:

Google SketchUp is free software, which, both children and adults can use to create a variety of homes, skyscrapers or even entire towns and cities. The program also allows the user to animate the final creation. This may be appropriate for children of 12 years and above.

7. Strategy:

a) Chess:

There are many versions available of this classic game and I don’t think I can even begin to talk about the many advantages of introducing this game to a child. Chess Free app supports both 1 and 2 player game play so one can play against friends or accept the challenge from the computer. Although many researches prove that there is no set age to introduce a child to this game but the popular scientific belief is that almost all children begin understanding the game by the age of 6 years.
b) Sudoku:

This is yet another example of an age-old classic game that has engagement for a child. The computer app lets one choose from one of the four difficulty levels suitable for players of all age groups.

8. Edutainment:

a) Maily:

Maily is a parent-controlled email account that makes it easy to create images and messages and then share them. Though it might still be a while until your toddler needs to send emails, it can be a nice way for them to keep in contact with family members.

b) Endless alphabet:

Endless Alphabet used to be a huge hit in our house, especially first thing in the morning. It sees users learn the alphabet by sliding "talking" letters into place to spell various words. The user (child) is then rewarded with an amusing animation illustrating the definition. It can be an interactive way for a child to learn words while at the same time they spend time on their own (this is in fact a handy tool for the overall growth and development of a child.

9.Presicion Games: The following three apps are a fine example of children enjoying games on the I-pad that have no violent connotations. All the below mentioned games are available for free downloads and are suitable for children above8 years of age. Touch hockey can also be played by children as young as 4 years old.

a) Virtual Pool

b) Carrom

c) Touch Hockey

10. Must haves: Below mentioned couple of apps are somewhat of a must have on the I-pad

a) Atlas:

We have a big world map in our daughters room but since the text is so small it is tough to find places sometimes and there are many versions of the atlas app available that can find places, chart routes and tell a little bit of information about a place. One can zoom in and also see the detailed map of a particular country. It is also handy when planning a domestic or an international trip.

b) Dictionary:

Another important tool that each child should have access to. Many versions are available on the Internet and these can be downloaded for free.

c) Bamboo paper:

This one is my daughter’s favorite, she really loves to make up lists and stories and she uses this extensively (as do I), to document the stories that she makes up, and list of things that she wants to have. It was most helpful when we took a road trip, we did not have to carry a whole load of notebooks and stationary as she documented most of the trip on the I-pad and also clicked pictures with the I-pad to support her documentation. Many versions and kinds are available for free download on the Internet.

There is a parallel world out there with endless number of games available at the click of a button but the key perhaps is to get the most out of your family tablet/I-pad so as to monitor which apps are for their entertainment value, while which ones are to be avoided for inappropriate content or violent undertone.
In our house, the I-pad is a boon, it acts as an entertainment device, a library, an educational tool and stores a lot of fun memories in the shape of stories, pictures and videos, most of which are made by our daughter.

Hoping that this blogs is helpful to all my fellow parents and in case you are aware of some cool apps for children, please do mention them in the comments, so that more proparents may benefit from it.

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Parenting Expert

Feeding children with nutritious food and inculcating healthy eating habits in them is the top most priority for almost all parents. However, parents are finding promoting healthy eating with their children a big challenge. Many a times parents have to helplessly watch their child being pulled towards unhealthy eating options, which include their all-time favorite varieties of junk foods, processed foods, eatables and drinks containing high sugar content to enlist a few. No wonder, health experts fear obesity as a new-gen epidemic.

With an intention to serve parents by spreading awareness around the core issues concerning healthy eating, importance of role-modeling in inculcating good food habits and physical fitness in children, Parentune, organized Parenting workshop - on "Right nutrition and diet for your child" - on this Parent's day. This workshop was conducted by Parentune Nutrition+ Wellness expert Mrs.Tanuja Sodhi and Parentune Parenting expert Mrs. Bhavna Awasthy.

Those parents who missed the action may go through this blog to grab their chunk of healthy food for thought ;) I mean some handy tips to make your kids pick healthy food as a choice.

The experts started by sharing the common food issues that parents are grappling vis-a-vis their children (of ages 1 to 12). They referred to various 'Parent Talks' (parent's queries on Parentune's website) about parents' struggle with their kids over healthy eating.

To add some zing to the show, experts called for parent volunteers for two tasks :

Task 1: Role-play - 2 parents were asked to enact the roles of a mom and a 4 year old. The parents wonderfully portrayed the mom and a 4 year old, fussy eater. Mother tries several healthy food options to feed the child but the child shows least interest in eating and does everything to resist food.Parent's reflections - Many parents could identify themselves with the enacted situation and echoed the common concern that meal time is struggle time as kids don't wish to have regular food. They sometimes either resist food all together or many a times fancy the (not so healthy) food items marketed through the media. A parent summed up, "my 2 year old child refuses food at the very sight of it and no reasoning works after that, I just choose to force feed as I can't think of any better option."

Nutrition and Parenting Expert's take - Experts endorsed that urban parents are facing feeding issues with their children so much so that it is causing a lot of stress to parents. In many cases force feeding is adopted to make sure that kids get some nutrition. However, it complicates the problem further as many children associate negative experiences around eating and choose to resist food altogether.

Task 2: Making a diet plan - A group of 4 parents were asked to make a diet plan of a 3 year old child keeping in mind the child's activity level and age. They were provided with a list of food items as options. Parents made a well calculated diet plan which included various healthy food items meeting the nutritional demands decently.

Parents' take - Parents acknowledged that, while they want to feed their children healthy and nutritious food however, it's easier said than done because of various reasons like lack of time, knowledge and creative ideas around healthy feeding.

Nutrition and Parenting Expert's take - Experts explained the nutritive value of each food choice in terms of calories and components like protein, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins and minerals. They elaborated on the core issue of right diet.

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