Ranit came home furious. He ran inside to his room and slammed the door. On hearing the commotion, his mom Seema, rushed to his bedroom wondering what happened. She reached a room that was strewn with articles, some even broken. It took a second for Seema to realise what happened and was able to duck a pencil box that was hurled at her accidentally. All this coupled with Ranit’s screaming and anger. Seema shouted at Ranit and when she asked what happened, he retorted with tears brimming his eyes, “Ajay is stupid. He did not allow me to bat today. When I grabbed his bat, he pushed me to the floor and hit me with his bat.” As Ranit turned towards her, Seema realized that Ranit was bleeding from his forehead. She rushed him to the hospital to get some stitches.
Aggression is verbal or physical behaviour that is threatening, destructive or intended to harm. Aggression is often used as a means to survive or fulfil a drive. In Child psychology, aggressive behaviour is classified under externalising syndromes which include some problems like hyperactivity, aggressive and oppositional behaviours as well as some serious rule violations which can bring a child or adolescent into the contact with the juvenile judicial system.
Although aggressive behaviours are seen more frequently in boys than girls, almost all children display aggressive behaviour to some degree at some point in their development. Fortunately, in the case of most children aggressive behaviours are of relatively low intensity and do not constitute a serious problem. In other cases, however, children may display aggressive behaviours that are of such high intensity/ high frequency that they demand a response from parents, teachers or sometimes psychologists. Thus, aggressive behaviour seems to constitute both a common and sometimes a serious problem of childhood that may have important implications for the development of conduct disordered and delinquent behaviour. For example, childhood aggression has been identified as one of the strongest predictors of delinquency and drug use during both adolescent and adult years.
What are the causal factors of aggressive behaviours?
Aggression results from the frustration that comes from one’s access to blocked Goals. While frustration does not always result in aggression, it may result in “aggressive inclinations”, which in concert with other factors; increase the probability of aggressive responding.
High levels of aggressive behaviour are seen as resulting from experiences when a child has been directly reinforced for aggressive responding. Aarush reported to his mother that he knocked his friend because his friend knocked him on his way out of class during the lunch break. His mother applauded him for his aggressive behaviour as she explained that if anyone hit him, he should hit back so that he would understand how it feels to be knocked over.
Modelling is a crucial cause for aggressive behaviour in children. Children learn vicariously from parents, peers, cartoons and others who are reinforced for engaging in aggressive behaviour. Ruhaan hit his mother when she tried to correct him for some bad behaviour he displayed at school. When he was later explained that he cannot hit his mother, he retorted in anger, “But Dad hit you that day.”
Behavioural enactment of aggressive programs, cartoons or media are closely related to aggressive behaviour. Jayant explained to his mother that he tried his cool moves on his brother after watching a wrestling match on television
What can you do to reduce aggressive behaviour in children?
Banish Modelling - A child needs a home that has an overflow of forgiveness, love, support, attention, honesty and trust. Fortunately or unfortunately, children learn from parents. They find it hard to discern and hence it is our responsibility to be a good example of these attributes. Set your home right by having a consistent pattern of love and forgiveness.
Abusive language is a strict no- If you are having conflicts with your spouse, settle it. Let your child see forgiveness and not just the conflict. Don’t harbour resentment in your house else you’ll be harbouring resentment in your child.
Time out - Time out is a technique where the child is taken away from a preferred environment for a certain period of time, say about 10 minutes. The child is kept away from all objects and activities and is made to be in safe place which has no interesting options. Standing at a corner, withdrawing activities which the child enjoys like playing with toys are some examples.
Decide on TV time and programmes - Research shows that just 3 minutes of viewing violent cartoons amongst 5 year olds was adequate to turn them violent. Programmes like “Chota Bheem” where the main character pounds another, even if it’s good winning over evil, has enough violence. Half an hour of non- violence is permissible. TV does not compensate for you soothing your child when he is upset or lonely or sad. It is distracting but never the solution for these issues. The solution is You.
Apply Patience and Practice Firmness- I can’t stress enough on this. Patience is crucial in dealing with aggressive behaviour. Even before your child can throw a tantrum, warn her by explaining the consequences of acting out in a firm and neutral tone. When a child throws a tantrum or acts out violently, it is important to keep your cool and talk to the child firmly. Hold her by her shoulders and then say an emphatic no. Physical restraint also helps your child to calm down. Hug her from behind and then ask her to calm down.
Be Consistent- When your child does not follow in spite of warning the consequences, be consistent and follow the consequences. Else, the child will fail to understand the cause and effect relationship. Your child benefits from being corrected every time, rather than an occasional outburst.
Teach through accidental mistakes- In a scenario where a child is hurt accidentally because of another child or event, ask the child how he felt. When he says he was hurt, tell him that it is not good to hurt someone. When you hurt someone, he/ feels the same hurt that your child goes through. Reinforce and reward non-violent behaviour in the child. Praise him for not resorting to violence.
Deal with bullying- If you receive reports that your child is a bully, please consider professional help by taking your child to a child psychologist. Please do not encourage your child to deal with a bully, by asking him to strike back when a fellow classmate hits him, rather discuss with the class teacher. Teach your child that it is not right to hit on a person of the same age, older or younger.
Aggression might seem like a quick fix but has devastating consequences. As Arnold P. Goldstein, author of Aggression Replacement Training points out, “The first major classroom for teaching and learning of aggression is the home.” Our children are our future.
“Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.”
There are number of best parenting books through which parents can get great tips about handling aggression in children and all other top nutrition tips so that they can nourish their children perfectly.
Aggression is verbal or physical behaviour that is threatening, destructive or intended to harm. Aggression is often used as a means to survive or fulfil a drive. In Child psychology, aggressive behaviour is classified under externalising syndromes which include some problems like hyperactivity, aggressive and oppositional behaviours as well as some serious rule violations which can bring a child or adolescent into the contact with the juvenile judicial system.
Although aggressive behaviours are seen more frequently in boys than girls, almost all children display aggressive behaviour to some degree at some point in their development. Fortunately, in the case of most children aggressive behaviours are of relatively low intensity and do not constitute a serious problem. In other cases, however, children may display aggressive behaviours that are of such high intensity/ high frequency that they demand a response from parents, teachers or sometimes psychologists. Thus, aggressive behaviour seems to constitute both a common and sometimes a serious problem of childhood that may have important implications for the development of conduct disordered and delinquent behaviour. For example, childhood aggression has been identified as one of the strongest predictors of delinquency and drug use during both adolescent and adult years.
What are the causal factors of aggressive behaviours?
Aggression results from the frustration that comes from one’s access to blocked Goals. While frustration does not always result in aggression, it may result in “aggressive inclinations”, which in concert with other factors; increase the probability of aggressive responding.
High levels of aggressive behaviour are seen as resulting from experiences when a child has been directly reinforced for aggressive responding. Aarush reported to his mother that he knocked his friend because his friend knocked him on his way out of class during the lunch break. His mother applauded him for his aggressive behaviour as she explained that if anyone hit him, he should hit back so that he would understand how it feels to be knocked over.
Modelling is a crucial cause for aggressive behaviour in children. Children learn vicariously from parents, peers, cartoons and others who are reinforced for engaging in aggressive behaviour. Ruhaan hit his mother when she tried to correct him for some bad behaviour he displayed at school. When he was later explained that he cannot hit his mother, he retorted in anger, “But Dad hit you that day.”
Behavioural enactment of aggressive programs, cartoons or media are closely related to aggressive behaviour. Jayant explained to his mother that he tried his cool moves on his brother after watching a wrestling match on television
What can you do to reduce aggressive behaviour in children?
Banish Modelling - A child needs a home that has an overflow of forgiveness, love, support, attention, honesty and trust. Fortunately or unfortunately, children learn from parents. They find it hard to discern and hence it is our responsibility to be a good example of these attributes. Set your home right by having a consistent pattern of love and forgiveness.
Abusive language is a strict no- If you are having conflicts with your spouse, settle it. Let your child see forgiveness and not just the conflict. Don’t harbour resentment in your house else you’ll be harbouring resentment in your child.
Time out - Time out is a technique where the child is taken away from a preferred environment for a certain period of time, say about 10 minutes. The child is kept away from all objects and activities and is made to be in safe place which has no interesting options. Standing at a corner, withdrawing activities which the child enjoys like playing with toys are some examples.
Decide on TV time and programmes - Research shows that just 3 minutes of viewing violent cartoons amongst 5 year olds was adequate to turn them violent. Programmes like “Chota Bheem” where the main character pounds another, even if it’s good winning over evil, has enough violence. Half an hour of non- violence is permissible. TV does not compensate for you soothing your child when he is upset or lonely or sad. It is distracting but never the solution for these issues. The solution is You.
Apply Patience and Practice Firmness- I can’t stress enough on this. Patience is crucial in dealing with aggressive behaviour. Even before your child can throw a tantrum, warn her by explaining the consequences of acting out in a firm and neutral tone. When a child throws a tantrum or acts out violently, it is important to keep your cool and talk to the child firmly. Hold her by her shoulders and then say an emphatic no. Physical restraint also helps your child to calm down. Hug her from behind and then ask her to calm down.
Be Consistent- When your child does not follow in spite of warning the consequences, be consistent and follow the consequences. Else, the child will fail to understand the cause and effect relationship. Your child benefits from being corrected every time, rather than an occasional outburst.
Teach through accidental mistakes- In a scenario where a child is hurt accidentally because of another child or event, ask the child how he felt. When he says he was hurt, tell him that it is not good to hurt someone. When you hurt someone, he/ feels the same hurt that your child goes through. Reinforce and reward non-violent behaviour in the child. Praise him for not resorting to violence.
Deal with bullying- If you receive reports that your child is a bully, please consider professional help by taking your child to a child psychologist. Please do not encourage your child to deal with a bully, by asking him to strike back when a fellow classmate hits him, rather discuss with the class teacher. Teach your child that it is not right to hit on a person of the same age, older or younger.
Aggression might seem like a quick fix but has devastating consequences. As Arnold P. Goldstein, author of Aggression Replacement Training points out, “The first major classroom for teaching and learning of aggression is the home.” Our children are our future.
“Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.”
There are number of best parenting books through which parents can get great tips about handling aggression in children and all other top nutrition tips so that they can nourish their children perfectly.
